On Inspiration

Inspiration. Sometimes I've got it, and sometimes it's missing as surely as the last piece of cake in the fridge. But, oh, how I miss it when it is gone.

I thrive on doing. The process of working on a project brings me more pleasure than the completion. The accomplishment high usually lasts about half an hour; then I often feel lost and lonely. It's like finishing a good book. I turn the last page, that world is gone, and I'm left bereft in the confusing world of reality. I dread that feeling.

Knowing this about myself, I try to always have multiple projects going at a time. Now, don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean I'm some superpowered human that is constantly creating and "doing" in any productive sense of the term. My "project" might be binge-watching Hart of Dixie. Again. It's more about the thrill of the compulsion than the noteworthiness of the action.

Today's un-spiration (see what I did there?) began when I finished a book. Like any bibliophile, I immediately downloaded the next one in the series only to learn that the series was numbered out of order. Book three should have been book two, which explains the huge plot gap. I double-checked when I started book-2-should-have-been-3 because it seemed so disjointed, but the internet reassured me that I had the correct book. This just goes to show you that the internet is the brainchild of us imperfect humans. Thus, the plot of book-3-should-have-been-2 was spoiled. Phooey.

I can roll with the punches, however, especially when Mother Nature has created a snowy playground outside my door during the night. I ventured forth to capture pictures of the fascinating crystalline structure of snowflakes, but my interest wavered after only a few minutes. While this may not seem like a big deal to some people, taking photos is partly how I relax, but it is also an expression of my inner self. It's like my inspiration thermometer, and it's dropped below zero.

What's next? Can I inspire inspiration? Is that even a thing? Moreover, is it better to sit with the discomfort of being between projects and wait for my muse to find me when the time is right? Trying to force inspiration is just as pointless as my sophomore field trip to Balboa Park where I was instructed to have an epiphany before we had to head back to school. I'm not much of a sit-back-and-wait type of person though. We only live once so far as we know, so we might as well enjoy it to the fullest. And, yes, I consider binge-watching TV to be living life to the fullest as long as you are enthralled. I'm very self-aware, and won't continue with a show the minute I'm no longer enjoying it. I may be fickle, but I know what I want. At least I know what I want most of the time. I guess that's the problem with un-spiration: I don't know what I want right now and I crave the intense feeling of passion. Luckily, humans are blessed with an amazing reset button called sleep. While we relax, our subconscious creates wonderous and occasionally terrifying stories for us. The most enthralling of all TV shows. I may not feel inspired tonight, but I fully trust my dreams to give me the hint I need. How blessed is the human existence that we begin anew every 24 hours? Sweet dreams.

Stock photo courtesy of Wix.